Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
wow bdsm is so cute
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
