She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
My vagina just clenched in fear
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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