id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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