it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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