so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
The air taste purple.
Randomize