Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
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