Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
