why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
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Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
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We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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