First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize