Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I am spending my child support on dildos
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Randomize
