I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
