I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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