I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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