thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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