We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize