Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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