I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
my shit smells like andre
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
