I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
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Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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