Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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