just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
sick fucks of a feather flock together
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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