She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize