Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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