I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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