So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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