And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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