please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Drunk walkin through police station. America
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
