Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
