Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
