break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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