hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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