I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
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I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
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You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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