She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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