Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
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I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
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Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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