I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
