if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize