Where are you?
In a non slutty way
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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