we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
