i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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