I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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