I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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