i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
