I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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