There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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