Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
No subtext here. People are naked.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
