can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
His hands were made for my vagina.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
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