That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
