Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I will be naked everywhere
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
