Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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