Pregnant stripper...not hot.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
