We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
It's rum buckets o'clock
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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