I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
