I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
