I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
