I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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