its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
They are going to name an STD after you.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
