Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
You may now shotgun with the bride
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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