you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
