i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
