apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
