areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
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