I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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